![]() ![]() Roberts) have a small crew consisting of the burliest men you'll see outside of a lumberjack convention: Ron Perlman, ex-NFL player John Matuszak, and Anjelica Huston. Maybe it's short for Jasonbeard, or Jason the Impaler. Urich's character is named Jason, which isn't a very fierce name for a pirate. What, did you think they gave it away to the poor thirsty people? The movie is called The Ice Pirates, not The Ice Robin Hoods Who Steal from the Wet and Give to the Dry. What do the ice pirates do with it then? Why, sell it, of course. ![]() Yes, Robert Urich, star of many TV shows and, um, many other TV shows, is the leader of the ice pirates, a band of ne'er-do-wells who go around stealing water and ice from the overlords who hoard it. No doubt this is a metaphor for the modern situation of our oil supply being controlled by foreign enemies, which makes The Ice Pirates one of the most trenchant political satires of its day, at least among those starring Robert Urich. THE FUTURE! In OUTER SPACE! The galaxy is suffering from a major water shortage, and what little water is left has fallen under the control of evil villainous bad guy types, who sell it at exorbitant rates. I understand Adam Sandler has it on Laserdisc. So it's a movie for imbecilic adult kids. It's simple-minded, as if for kids, but it's also smutty, as if for adults, but it's also imbecilic, as if for imbeciles. ![]() Who are these people who consider The Ice Pirates - an excruciatingly unfunny semi-comedy and unbearably stupid semi-adventure - a "cult classic"? And what else is admired in this cult? Bile? Excrement? Patch Adams? The Ice Pirates was made on a budget of about $12 by the guy who would later make Mac and Me, so you get what kind of filmmaker we're dealing with (i.e., the untalented kind). According to Wikipedia, The Ice Pirates is "considered to be a cult classic by many science fiction and B-movie fans." This is followed by "," which I couldn't have phrased better myself. ![]()
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